Advertisement What makes online dating so frustrating isn’t the exaggeration, it’s that you’re participating in a depressing hierarchy of desirability — a daisy chain of quiet rejection. We have the luxury of being less goal-oriented, the same way we’ve learned to be about sex.
You spend part of your time trying to recover from, and make sense of, all these potentially lovely people who won’t give you the time of day, then the rest flicking off people in whom you have no interest. In theory, though, it should at least be less uncomfortably urgent for those of us of a certain age: somewhere between the first biological clock (gotta reproduce! We can treat the process itself — the search, the exchange of messages, the one-off dinners — as intellectually intriguing, diverting, amusing, and perhaps even a path toward self-knowledge.
How women present themselves is a topic about which I can speak more knowledgeably.
First, it would appear that, upon reaching a certain age, women in the Boston area are required to sign up for yoga. Many grown women for some reason also make a point of referring to themselves as “girls,” sometimes even working this word into their user names.
By a remarkable coincidence, what people notice first about each and every one is her distinctive smile and eyes.
Accompanying photos occasionally include kids and pets and sometimes are taken in (and of) exotic lands, the point apparently being to make the rest of us depressed about the repetitive, prosaic, embarrassingly local lives we — and apparently only we — are leading.
Most of all, it seems that every woman, regardless of age, despises the indoors.
I say this because, according to their profiles, every spare moment is devoted to running, skiing, hiking, climbing, rafting, unicycling, spelunking, parachuting into triathlons, and engaging in a variety of other calorie-burning gerunds.
How they simultaneously manage to keep up with all those Netflix shows they admit to loving presents a real puzzle.
Perhaps they watch on their phones while they’re running, skiing, and hiking.
Members only see intersection of what they are looking for and what other members are looking for. Free messaging and status posting for undergraduates (5 messages/day limit).