Oct 2012 My daughter, almost 13, has become so negative! She is an amazing dancer, a straight A student, beautiful and thoughtful.
And last spring started complaining about feeling left out of her group of friends at school and her competitive dance team.
What I did not realize was that she suffered from anxiety!
It came to a head in high school, and I finally took her to see someone, and with therapy and some anxiety meds, she is 100% better.
I did not realize that she had performance issues, had some perfectionist issues, and pretty severe anxiety.
I tried explaining to her that everyone responds to that feeling of not being included in different ways. I would listen and fret, I even called my friend whose daughter dances with mine.
I become that person that is loud and funny and talks a lot because it makes me feel a part of what's happening, where she tends to remove herself. But nothing was resolved and now I find myself wondering if its something she's going through or if I should be really concerned.
She's always been on the serious side, an old soul, and went through a really funny outgoing phase, but really seems to be struggling with her confidence right now.
So far, I've been trying to react in a more positive way, instead of getting caught up.
Or listening and saying, ''I'm sorry'' or something like that when she complains.
For instance at a sleepover she was texting me about the girls being loud during a movie, and I just said ''try to have fun, at least you've seen the movie before'', and then when someone was hogging the bed I left it at, ''I'm sorry'' and her phone died.
I want her to talk to me, my mom wasn't available or kind when I was this age, but really?? My gut tells me it is, but I am worried that because we're so different I'm not taking it seriously enough.
Thank you I WISH I had written your post when my daughter was 13! Our girls sound ver similar: My daughter was/is competitive, had few ''good'' friends (or was critical of the ones she did have), quit volleyball because she was not ''the best'' on the team, texted me a lot (also for situation like the slumber party situation you describe)....