So all the questions of "Am I hurting the community? Regardless of how I publicly portray myself, it's not a worry I have anymore.
It still stands that I was the classic aromantic asexual during high school and college.
I haven't been here in a long time and wanted to expand upon one of my first posts here, because there is new information that dramatically alters the outcome.
It is locked, probably due to inactivity, so unfortunately I have to start a new thread.
Old Thread: Here is the new version of that timeline, with my current thoughts: First of all, I am no longer planning on pursuing activism in such a way that I make myself a recognizable asexual figure.
I was going to do blog posts and youtube videos, but I never settled on clear goals for that and am still spinning that idea around in my head.
This is what manifested itself as "I'm finally 'normal" when I got married to the first guy I had actual feelings for. After I, you know, stopped desiring any sex with this person who was violating me--completely unaware that this is what my mind was doing--I assumed I had "gone back" to being asexual.
I'm still not sure whether it was asexual tendencies resurfacing after the new-relationship energy subsided, or a fear-based response to trauma--possibly a combination of both--but either way, he then began coercing me, which I don't feel is as criminal as ignoring my wishes but was still damaging, and also resulted in an unexpected pregnancy that I chose to follow through with.Now that I have a better grasp on my transgender identity--I identified as a trans guy in the previous post, but now feel androgyne is better and still use female pronouns--and now that I have sorted through most of the sexual issues apparent in my marriage (which is soon ending--guess why), I also have a slightly better grasp on my sexual, or asexual, identity.I'm still not sure if demisexual or gray fits me better, but at least I have a bit less confusion.And maybe a little more anger/drive to change the world, heh.I suppose it's no use mulling over, because I am now probably at a point that many people on this site are at: "Yeah, I'm asexual, not a classic asexual, not sure where I fall exactly, but I belong in there somewhere..." But I felt very compelled to update the story.Ya know, all these posts of people who willingly have sex and then later frame it as rape really further illustrates why sexuals and asexuals should not mix.